I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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