idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
