i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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