And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
