The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Bring me that man meat
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
