I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize