I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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