i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
