I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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