if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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