I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
