If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
