i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I CAN MOONWALK!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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