as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
