she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
