I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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