I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
