Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
