I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You took a bar mat shot.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
