margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize