I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
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