The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize