Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
