Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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