do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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