I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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