Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
