Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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