Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
