you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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