Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I stole a fireplace last night.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
