After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Randomize
