hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
