We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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