I feel like I'm in dance class right now
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
