It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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