just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
