like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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