Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
