he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
