haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize