East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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