I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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