pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
