did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
