Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
