Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
