Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
