I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
as a side note pls kill me
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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