I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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