i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
