the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
