Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
