Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
