I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
